High Heeled Ed/Script
camera pans through a sewer. Eddy: "Gruesome, tasteless, hideous and repulsive! Pure genius!" Edd: protective gear "How you ever talked me into this is beyond me. We're in a sewer, Eddy! An incubator for every parasite known to humans!" Eddy: "It writes itself, Double D! We're gonna be rich! Filthy rich, I tell ya." trail of bubble is seen in front of the boat. Something rises from the muck. Edd: "Look out behind you!" Eddy: "That's the oldest trick in the book, Double D. Sheesh, get real." tentacle behind him gloms on to his head and picks him up. "Aah! Let me go! Let me go!" Edd: "Don't fight it, Eddy! Try to–" wave sprays all over him. Eddy: "Ed, stop! Save it for the customers!" Ed: "I am an Edapuss, 'cause I'm Ed." Eddy: "You're gonna be Ed-a-dead after I get–" Nazz: offscreen "Swamp Ride?" Sarah: disgusted "Oh, brother!" Eddy: "Customers." the lane, Sarah, Nazz, and Jimmy are walking. Sarah: "Who wants to ride a swamp?" Nazz: "I think I'll pass." Jimmy: "Why can't the Eds think of something nice to ride, like a dolphin?" falls through the open manhole. Nazz: "Boys will be boys." and Sarah walk on, oblivious to Jimmy's predicament. Jimmy: in sludge "Sarah?" turns around to face the masked Edd. "Gym teacher!" faints. Ed: "I am Edapuss, because I am a–" Eddy: Ed away "Hang on, he hasn't paid yet. Numskull." Jimmy "Welcome to Ed's Swamp Ride. That'll be twenty-five cents." Jimmy: "Sarah!" Sarah: to the manhole "Jimmy! What happened?" Jimmy: "I fell on my tushy, Sarah!" Sarah: "Don't move! I'll save you!" pulls out a modified fishing pole and casts it in. She catches Jimmy and hauls him out. Sarah: "Pee-yew, Jimmy, you stink!" Nazz: her nostrils "That's putting it mildly." Eddy: the sewer "Hey! Why don't you let the guy have some fun, huh?" Sarah: "You're in a sewer, idiot. It's dirty, and stinky–" Eddy: "It's called ambiance! It's a swamp ride, get it? What do you girls know about–" sign is thrown down at him. "No skin off my nose, Sarah. I'm sure Kevin, Rolf, even Jonny will–" Sarah: "They went go-karting!" Eddy: out of the hole "Go-karting?" Sarah: "And they won't be back till supper. Bye bye!" throws the manhole cover back on the manhole. As a result, Eddy is hit by the cover and plummets back down into the sludge. Ed: "I think Sarah likes you, Eddy." Eddy: "Great. We're stuck here with two girls and a Jimmy. This calls for a change of plans, Double D. We need to find our more sensitive side." tickles Edd. Ed: "I found my sensitive side, 'cause it has a rash." Eddy: "Oh!" Edd: disgusted "Thank you for sharing that with us, Ed." Eddy: "Now, what do girls like?" Ed: "Sarah likes to watch me eat yogurt from my belly button. Heh heh heh!" and Edd give him disgusted looks Edd: a long pause "Ahem. Before Ed fills my head with any more disturbing images, I suggest a study. An observation of girls in their habitats." Eddy: "Study? I follow my guts, Double D." Ed: "I smell waffles, guys." Eddy: "Shut up, Ed." pulls Ed out of the sewer. ---- Jimmy: the top of a slide "Won't I stick to it and chafe my thighs again, Sarah?" Sarah: "Don't be silly, silly! On your mark, get set," Jimmy: down "Whee!" Sarah: "Last one to the swings is an Ed!" run to the swing-set, laughing. Edd, who has hidden himself behind the slide, makes some notes. Nazz: "Check this out, Sarah!" jumps on a rope swing and does a gymnastic stunt, landing in a pile of leaves. "Awesome!" Sarah: into the pile from the other direction "Whee! Gee, Nazz, that was rad! Did it hurt?" Nazz: "Not when you land softly, Sarah!" Sarah: "Can I try?" Nazz: "Uh, sorta dangerous. Start slow. Try the spinning wheel." Sarah: "Okay, girlfriend!" they leave, Ed and Eddy stick their heads out of the leaf pile. Eddy: "Soft? She practically broke my back!" starts on the merry-go round. Eddy watches from a hollow tree. Suddenly, the wheel lifts up to reveal Ed is working as the axle. Eddy: "Oh, oh! Discovery! Discovery!" Edd: a bush beside Eddy "What is it?" both look at Ed. Eddy: "Don't you just want to pinch his cheeks?" Edd: signaling "Get down, get down!" heeds Edd's signals and dives. The merry-go-round, no longer supported by anything, falls into the dirt and grinds down a few feet. Sarah, still holding on, is shoved into the dirt by it. Sarah: and confused "Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Jumping jackrabbits, look at those stubborn grass stains!" makes some notes. "Better use some club soda on those clothes. It's the only way to get them clean. Hurry and meet me in the daisies, Sarah!" is running through a field of flowers, where the Eds are disguised as flowers. Jimmy: "Whee! The fragrance of flowers is so sweet!" some new flowers "Hello, you new in town? May I smell you? Why thank you." grabs the three new flowers. These flowers are really Eddy's hair. The scent of Eddy makes Jimmy start to gag. Jimmy: "Yuck! You smell like cheap shampoo! I'm tearing!" runs away. Edd: "Gentlemen, and I use that term lightly, I think I've compiled enough data for us to proceed. According to my observations, girls are prone to 1: soft, as in Nazz; 2: clean, reference Sarah, and 3: fresh fragrance, a la Jimmy." Eddy: "That's stupid! We're right back where we started–" idea hits "Bingo!" lightbulb goes out and Eddy flicks it on again. "It's the pants!" Edd: surprised "Pants, Eddy?" Eddy: "Chicks dig pants! Nazz wears pants, Sarah wears pants,–" Edd: "You wear pants!" Eddy: proudly "I wear pants." giggles, and Eddy realizes that by his reasoning he is a girl. Edd: "Pay attention, Eddy! Soft, clean, and fresh it is!" walks off. Eddy: following "I hate it when he does that." Ed: "Quack." ---- looks out of a bush in the lane. Nazz rides a bike past, and Sarah and Jimmy follow. Sarah: "Hurry, Jimmy!" Jimmy: "When are we going to push back our cuticles, Sarah?" Eddy: out of the bush "Hey! Hold up! For the first time, specially designed for you tender types, and priced to delight, our Snuggle-Me-Ed!" pulls a fuzz-covered Ed from the bush. "He's soft, clean, and fresh." Sarah: "So what?" Nazz: "Is that dryer lint all over him?" Eddy: "Double D, wouldn't you pay twenty-five cents to hug the neck?" Ed: scared "Bug?!? GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! AAAAAAHHH!!!" runs through part of the fence. This part was holding up another, longer part, which collapses on Edd, Eddy, Sarah, Jimmy, and Nazz. Jimmy: "Oh no." fence falls "Ow." Eddy: "Don't think she went for it." lifts up a board and climbs out. Sarah: "ED, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT! I'M TELLING ON–" fondles her earlobe "Oh no. My earring! I lost my earring!" Edd: "I feel so guilty." Sarah: crying "I loved my earring!" Jimmy: out "Sarah, look, I'm trendy!" has a nose ring. "Fashion can be so painful." Sarah: "My earring! Gimme it!" rips the earring from Jimmy's nose. "Thank you Jimmy! Thank you thank you thank you!" Eddy: an epiphany "Did you see that? All those emotions over stupid jewelry? Double D! It's a gold mine!" ---- is playing tennis. Eddy pushes Ed and Edd out from behind a tree. Ed and Edd have with them a serving cart. Eddy: "Go on!" Edd: scared "Retreat." Eddy: them out again "What's the big deal? They're just girls." ball hits him in the mouth. Sarah: "Hey hey hey! Get lost!" a prone Eddy "No guys allowed!" Eddy: "If you weren't Ed's sister, I'd–!" clamps a hand over Eddy's mouth. Edd: "What Eddy's trying to say is, we're having a jewelry sale and–" Sarah: "Jewelry?" Nazz: "A sale!" Jimmy: "Baubles and bangles!" Ed: the cart forward "Imported by an armored truck from the house of European wieners." Eddy: "Behold!" Ed: "Behold." rips the cloth cover off. The girls and Jimmy's faces are lit by the glimmering jewelry. Nazz: "Look at all that gold!" jewelry is golden kitchen utensils. Sarah: "They're so shiny!" Jimmy: "Lemme see, lemme see!" Nazz: "Eddy. I'm looking for something a little different, only still the same so it matches, without it being too similar." Eddy: "We'll just check our vault. Officer Ed!" shoves Ed through the fence. Ed: "A spatula!" dips it in a can of gold paint. "Jewelry for Nazz." Jimmy: through the jewelry, pulling out a slinky "This looks interesting." Edd: "Yes, well, you obviously have an eye for, ahem, creativity." Nazz: the spatula "Thanks, Ed." Ed: "She went for it, Eddy." Jimmy: dissatisfied "That's gaudy." Eddy: it "Gaudy, nothing. You must have suffered a brain lag, as this is one of our more popular–" what to say "–neck-doohickey things." Sarah: "Can I try it on?" Eddy: "Why, certainly, miss. Allow me." pulls out a mirror. puts on the jewelry, and it makes her neck stretch out like a giraffe. She ends up with her neck bent double and stretching ten feet into the air. Sarah: "How do I look?" Eddy: "Like a million bucks. Will that be cash, or cash?" Sarah: "I don't like it!" Edd: "They hate our merchandise, Eddy!" Ed: "Give 'em what they want! Can openers." to paint the opener "My mom loves can openers." looks back at his friends, confused. "Are moms girls?" Eddy: "Not sure." Edd: "Well, technically..." Eddy: "Beats me." Ed: the opener in the paint "Boy, that's pretty." can opener digs through the bottom of the can, and the contents empty out all over Ed's pants. Ed: "Huh? Oops." Eddy: business "This ain't a library. Buy or get lost." Ed: calling "Eddy!" Eddy: "Pardon us for a moment." drags Edd to Ed. Ed: the lane with them "Guys, I spilled paint all over my good pants." does indeed have gold pants on. Eddy: "Oh great. We're hooped." Nazz: the pants "Awesome pants!" Jimmy: "Are they for sale?" Eddy: "Uh..." Jimmy: "I must have them!" Sarah: "Gimme 'em, they're mine!" Nazz: "I saw them first!" watches in greed and Edd watches in horror. Eddy: "Get ready to retire, Double D." the pants "Cashier's this way, ladies!" Jimmy, and Nazz follow him. Sarah: "Hey!" Nazz: "Aw, come on, Eddy." Jimmy: "Do you have a layaway plan?" Eddy: "Feast your eyes on these golden pantaloons! Any offers?" Nazz: seductively "Eddy, it would be so sweet to get those as a gift." Eddy: incoherent "Well uh you knuh i mag a play egg yeah nis madnam." Edd: "Try syllables in sentences, Eddy." Sarah: after Edd "Double D? You can get me those pants, can'tcha?" backs him up to Eddy. Edd: incoherent "Well iz a wiall a mis..." Nazz: "Eddy?" Sarah: "Double D?" Jimmy: "Five dollars!" and Nazz jump back, surprised. "For the golden pants." Eddy: overtaking his lust "Sold!" Edd: "Phew!" Jimmy: giddy "Pinch me I'm dreaming! Whee!" the pants "I feel just like Elvis Presley. Jealous?" paint develops cracks. "Oh no! When will the torment end?" falls, and the paint on the pants shatters into tiny pieces. Jimmy is wearing Ed's pants. Nazz: "That wasn't gold, fakers!" Sarah: "You gypped us!" Edd: "Exposed." Eddy: "Busted." Ed: "Nope. Can't think of a word." snatches the $5 bill from Eddy. Jimmy: bag over his head "The shame!" Nazz: "Here's your money, Jimmy." removes the bag. To the Eds "Grow up." Sarah: "Wait till you get home, Ed." Jimmy: "Charlatans." Eds are left alone in the lane. Ed: "Spending an extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing." Eddy: "What's up with you?" Edd: "Ed's trouserless state seems to have jarred an intellectual moment within the confines of his brain." Eddy: "Ed? Is that you?" Ed: to normal "Hug me!" Eddy: "Well that didn't last long." Ed: "Hug!" squeezes Eddy. Eddy: "Ed!" wriggles out of Ed's grip and climbs over the fence. Ed: his arms wide "Double D my friend!" Edd: "Please, Ed? Ed, no wait! Eddy!" climbs the fence as well. Ed runs right through it and hugs his friends. Ed: "Hug, guys!" Edd: "Ed you're in your underwear!" Ed: "Okay I feel loved now." Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts